Sometimes grief looks like anger. Or relief. Or productiveness.

Sometimes it’s crying and also kind of…celebrating?
(And yes, that’s still grief.)

Welcome to ambivalent grief – where the loss is real, but the feelings don’t come neatly labelled.

This is the kind of grief that doesn’t fit inside tidy frameworks or polite conversations. The kind that leaves people saying things like:

“I’m not sure what I’m feeling.”
“We weren’t close, but this has knocked me.”
“I feel guilty for not feeling more.”
“I didn’t even like them—but I can’t stop crying.”

And it goes beyond saying – or does it? – that this doesn’t have to follow a bereavement. Grief follows loss, not necessarily death.

Maybe it’s the end of a relationship, that decree nisi comes through, you have the champagne chilling ready, but suddenly you’re crying instead…

Hello ambivalence.

See, here’s the thing – we’re not tidy creatures. We’re messy and unpredictable and conflicted and tangled and confusing and confused.

And that’s okay.

If this resonates, if you’re struggling after a loss, and you don’t know why – or someone you love is – reach out. Let’s talk. Talking helps make sense out of even the most confused, confusing, conflicted tangle of thoughts and feelings.

Really.